


Unconditionally

by hippiefairy



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Biphobia, Friendship, Gen, Past Relationship(s), Post Episode: s03e22 Revelation, Swearing, mentions of abuse, past stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 22:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippiefairy/pseuds/hippiefairy
Summary: “Acceptance is the key to be, to be truly free”Blake may not have meant to tell anyone else he was bi, but... well, things snowballed.





	Unconditionally

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write something after seeing Revelations. I'm bi myself and I could relate to Blake so well, which is nice because I've never found another bi character on tv that I even like, let alone could relate to. This is hastily written but :shrugs: I had fun.

It started small, after all, Blake hadn’t meant for anyone else to know. Keeping his private life separate from his work life was still something he wanted to do. Elizabeth McCord was different, he counted her as family, she was someone he absolutely trusted and, maybe he hadn’t really meant to blurt it out as he had, but he didn’t regret it and he was glad she knew. 

Because sometimes, sometimes it felt as though he was always hiding, like he could never truly be himself. He wasn’t much for flirting anyway, but he had to be especially careful around his coworkers, not generally a problem unless he’d had too much to drink, but it would be nice sometimes, to not have to worry about it. Not the least because he spent so much time with them. It was, perhaps, a small wonder that he hadn’t tripped up. Than again, maybe not, he was good at being careful, he had to be, in all aspects of his life, but this was the thing that had taught him how to do that. Being bisexual was what had taught him how to hide parts of himself, it taught him how to cultivate a certain image, it had also taught him a lot about accepting people as they were. It was good practice for his job, he did sometimes wish he could’ve learned it some other way though.

It was probably always inevitable that he would eventually slip up somewhere, even if it wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t a surprise that it was Nadine that caught that slip up. It had been such a nice normal day, only one international crisis amidst the usual slew of meetings, and a few of them had decided to go out for drinks after work. Blake had definitely **not** been expecting to run into an ex, especially not  _ that _ ex, the one that had been borderline abusive, controlling, and had stalked for him for several weeks after the break up. Yeah, she was easily the worst of his exes, not the least because she’d only stopped stalking him after she’d seen him with a one night stand, a man, and yelled at him for leading her on when he’d always been gay. He couldn’t quite explain to himself why he’d tried to explain to her that he was bi, but maybe it didn’t matter, she refused to understand and, if one of his neighbors hadn’t threatened to call the cops, she’d probably still be yelling at him. 

Blake kept one eye on the bar where she was sitting with another woman as he slunk down low in his seat and hoped she wouldn’t notice him. He probably should’ve gotten that restraining order, but he’d convinced himself that he didn’t need it.

Nadine was eyeing him oddly and he smiled at her before taking a too large drink from his glass, he barely managed not to choke and even Matt turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh… sorry? I… need to go, I forgot I had a… a thing” he winced internally, yeah, that was subtle. Daisy sighed into her club soda but no one actually said anything about it as he got up to leave, they were probably too used to his occasional babbling.

He hurried out the door and heaved a sigh of relief as the cool night air hit him, he’d nearly forgotten that feeling of being unable to breathe around the panic whenever he saw her, that had been what had finally made him break up with her. He couldn’t handle that feeling, it was worse than anything she actually did. 

“Blake?” a voice from behind him made that panic bubble up again as he closed his eyes briefly and tried to breathe through it as he turned around.

“Abby, hello” he managed to choke out the words almost evenly.

“I thought that was you. That guy in there, is he your boyfriend?” she asked belligerently.

Blake blinked at her “I don’t see how that is any of your business” he said.

“I can’t believe you” she hissed “flaunting your relationship in front of me? That’s so cruel, how could you even show your face around me after what you did?”

Blake wanted to fight back, he wanted to tell her that he hadn’t expected to see her there, that he wasn’t the one that was cruel, that she really had no right to speak to him. But he couldn’t seem to get the words past his lips.

“You’re such a bastard” she declared “I can’t beli-”.

“Excuse me” a familiar voice interjected and Blake’s eyes snapped to where Nadine had come up beside Abby, his coworker was wearing a pleasant smile but it didn’t reach her eyes until they moved from the other woman to Blake.

“I know you can take care of yourself Blake, but do you mind?” she asked, he shook his head bemusedly.

“Good” Nadine turned back to Abby and her expression turned as cold as Blake had ever seen it.

“I don’t know who you are” Nadine’s tone never wavered from perfectly polite, somehow that made her even scarier as she glared at the woman in front of her “and I really don’t care, if you don’t leave I will call the police and inform them that you are harassing a member of the Secretary of State’s staff”.

Abby tried to interrupt her and Nadine held up a hand.

“I suggest you  **not** speak, I’ve heard more than enough out of you, leave, now” Nadine told her “and I also suggest you stay away from Mr. Moran here because, if I see you again, I will not hesitate to call the police”.

Abby lifted her chin defiantly but apparently common sense prevailed as she spun around and stalked towards a taxi.

“Are you alright?” Nadine turned to Blake and her face softened dramatically as she reached out hesitantly, pausing slightly before laying a gentle hand on his arm.

Blake nodded “yes… um, thank you” he said quietly.

“Of course” she patted his arm “she seems like a perfectly awful woman” she commented lightly.

Blake ducked his head as he smiled slightly “yes, she is”.

“May I ask though, why does she think you and Matt are a couple?” Nadine asked him “because if you two were flirting and I didn’t realize it… well, I’m in more need of a vacation than I thought”.

“What?!” Blake was sure he looked perfectly scandalized even though it was obvious Nadine wasn’t being serious “I can assure you, Matt and I would  _ never _ flirt with each other. But…” he bit his lip and looked at her “I am bisexual” he softly admitted.

Nadine smiled and patted his arm again “do you want to go back inside? I’m assuming she was the reason you were leaving? We can just tell Matt and Daisy that your ‘thing’ was canceled” she suggested.

“Actually, I think it is time to get home” he smiled at her as she nodded.

“Alright, good night Blake” she responded.

“Good night. And, thank you”.

.

* * *

 

.

Blake had figured that was the end of it, he had no reason to confide in anyone else and he certainly had no plans to tell Matt of all people, they weren’t exactly close, they were work friends. Blake appreciated the other man’s skills and liked spending time with him outside of work occasionally, but beyond that? No, there was no beyond that. So to see Matt standing beside his desk with an offering of coffee was a bit odd, still, the other man probably just needed something and was trying to bribe Blake. Or that was what Blake thought until he realized how nervous Matt looked as he quietly asked if they could talk somewhere else. 

Blake was getting a bit nervous himself by the time Matt closed the door to his office, a scenario was running through Blake’s head that involved him somehow forgetting something important… like there was some kind of big speech planned for today and it wasn’t in the schedule, and oh man that would be bad. Or… or… actually he couldn’t think of any other reason for Matt to drag him over here.

“What is going on?” he asked as Matt turned towards him.

“Uh…” Matt looked uncomfortable “you want to sit down?” he asked in a hopeful tone.

“Not really” Blake looked at him questioningly “why am I here?”.

“Okay” Matt looked like he’d decided to bite the bullet “so I noticed you were kind of uncomfortable at the bar last night, after those two women came in, and then you left and… uh I guess I just wanted to make sure you were alright?” he was talking to the blinds over Blake’s right shoulder instead of Blake.

“That’s what this is about?” Blake asked disbelievingly “you’re… what? Concerned? Why?”.

Matt huffed “I’m not a totally self-absorbed jerk” he said “besides, we are friends, I’m allowed to be worried”.

Blake’s eyes widened, okay, this was all very unexpected. He’d seriously doubted Matt would even notice his discomfort the previous night, let alone say anything about it.

“It’s fine” he waved a hand dismissively “ _ I’m  _ fine” he clarified when Matt didn’t look any less uncomfortable.

“Good. But uh… I mean, if you weren’t… or uh, if you ever needed to talk” he shoved his hands in his pockets and finally looked directly at Blake.

“That look on your face was more than just the annoyance of running into someone you don’t like, it was kind of panicked. And, I think I know that look, I think I’ve worn that look” Matt admitted “and if I’m right” he shrugged “well, just, you can talk to me if you ever need to. I’d understand better than you probably would’ve thought before this conversation”.

Blake nodded “okay, thanks” he moved to leave but paused with his hand on the door and looked back at Matt.

“Thanks, I really do appreciate it. And, just so you know, the whole talking thing goes both ways. I’ve been told I’m a good listener” he said.

.

.

.

Blake didn’t know about Matt, but  _ he _ honestly wasn’t expecting them to discuss the matter ever again. He definitely wasn’t expecting to end up at Matt’s place a month later, sharing a bottle between them, as they talked all through the night about their exes and bad breakups. And, okay, maybe it was the liquid courage, but telling Matt about his last fight with Abby wasn’t so hard. Especially since Matt’s response had basically boiled down to “fuck her, you don’t need that shit in your life”.

Admittedly, Matt wasn’t as circumspect as the Secretary of State or Nadine Tolliver, and Blake was a bit afraid that was going to come back and bite him in the ass some day. But it was kind of nice to have someone who knew and would, sometimes, say something. Of course, Matt’s ‘saying something’ usually meant he was teasing Blake about some cute guy, but, yeah, that wasn’t so bad… maybe even kind of nice? Nobody had ever treated his interest in guys in quite the same way as his interest in girls, but that was exactly what Matt did. 

.

* * *

.

Daisy was due in less than two months and Blake and Matt had offered to help her set up the nursery. They’d made a good start and Matt had left to pick them up some lunch when Daisy sighed. She’d been assigned a supervisory position and she was sitting in the comfy rocker that had been a gift from her parents.

“I’m so not ready for this you know” she admitted quietly “being a single mom with my kind of job? How am I going to manage it?”.

“I wish I had some advice” Blake replied from where he was hanging a picture on the wall “but this isn’t my area of expertise, still, if it makes you feel better, you’re the only one thinking you might not be able to manage, everyone else knows you’re going to be an amazing mother. And we also know you’re a fantastic press coordinator” he added.

“You’re just stroking my ego now” Daisy sighed “but thanks anyway. It just seems like there’s more to worry about raising a kid now than there used to be. What if I mess up?”.

“Oh you will” Blake responded absentmindedly as he tried to get the picture to hang straight.

Daisy’s shoulders slumped “really Blake? That’s not helpful”.

“Well, you didn’t let me finish” Blake picked up another picture to hang “look, parents make mistakes, in some way or another you’re going to screw that kid up. The important thing is to make sure it’s not because you’re neglectful or abusive. And I know you couldn’t be either of those things Daisy. Just do your best, care for him, teach him, and love him no matter what. And, maybe, ask actual parents for advice, and not me” he paused “and definitely not Matt”.

Daisy laughed “yeah, Matt’s influence ended when he bought that damn stuffed duck. No kid needs a duck that lights up… and moos…. Seriously, I’d ask what he was thinking, but I don’t even want to know”.

“And thanks, you’re right, I’m over thinking as usual. You know I’ve already practiced all the speeches I can think of? Racism? Check. Safe sex? Check. Don’t do drugs? Check. And that’s not all, I’ve planned what I’ll say if my little boy ever tells me he’s actually a girl, I’ve planned what I’ll say if he tells me he’s gay” she sighed again.

“What if he’s bisexual?” Blake asked curiously.

“Yep! Though, I could use a few pointers on that if you wouldn’t mind” she said and Blake froze.

“What? Should I not have asked that, or did I get it wrong?” Daisy asked “I mean, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything”.

Blake snapped out of it “no no!” he hastened to assure her.

“But… uh… how did you know?” he asked “I never said anything to you”.

Daisy shook her head “no, I overheard Matt teasing you about that guy that was staring at you a couple of days ago, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together, was I not supposed to know?”.

Blake shrugged “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, I was kind of trying to keep my work life and private life separate but I suppose, since Matt let the cat out of the bag with you, Jay is the only one who doesn’t know that I’m bi now, so…”.

“Uh” Daisy grimaced “Jay does know… now” she was looking behind Blake and he turned to see Jay standing in the doorway behind Matt, they were both holding bags full of takeout containers.

“And… apparently I am a terrible friend” Matt declared “and I did not realize I was being that loud the other day… um, I’m sorry” he offered Blake a container of Szechuan chicken.

“Are you seriously trying to apologize to me by offering me the food that I payed for?” Blake looked at the Szechuan chicken incredulously.

“Not my best plan? Not my best plan” Matt decided.

Jay shook his head “you’re ridiculous” he told Matt before turning and smiling at Blake “sorry I walked in at a bad time”.

“It’s okay, you know, it’s kind of nice. I don’t have to hide around the people I really care about anymore, they all know” Blake replied.

“Great!” Matt pronounced “so… you’re not mad at me?” he asked in a nervous tone.

“Well…” Blake bit his lip and glanced mischievously at Daisy and Jay “it is kind of hard to be mad at the guy who’s nice enough to treat three of his friends to lunch”.

Matt slumped slightly “really? That’s how it’s going to be?”.

“It seems fair to me” Daisy smiled sweetly at Matt as Jay smirked and Blake tried not to laugh.

“Fine! But we get to eat in here, I want a picnic” Matt decided.

Daisy rolled her eyes “yeah, fine, just don’t spill anything on the brand new rug or this will  _ really _ be an expensive lunch for you”.

Blake couldn’t help it, he laughed as Matt started pouting and Jay pretended to spill his lo mein.

Yep, this was nice. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title and the quote in the summary are from the song "Unconditionally" by Katy Perry.
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome :)


End file.
